26 June 2005
I was going through some old journals, and found these entries from when I worked retail in a discount book store. I thought they were pretty darn funny, so I'll share with you:
"…While I'm at work, people behave as though it's an upscale department store and I'm some kind of [stinking] personal shopper or concierge. No! Don't ask me to find something for you when you haven't even looked yourself, I don't care about your stupid grandson going to camp, and when I say, "no, we don't have that, however we do have this," don't just pretend you didn't hear me and make it such a point that you want [the first thing]. We are not Neiman [Stinking] Marcus, so take your Gianfranco Ferre sunglasses and your disgusting lame-and-pastel jogging suit and get out!…"
{maybe a week later…}
"…At work I messed up a bunch of times in ringing people out, so I would re-ring and mess up something else and then they would come back after leaving and it would have to be voided. [This doesn't make sense to me either.] AARGH! So frustrating. Yesterday was not that bad except that about a million little kids with ADD came in and were running around out of control of their bourgie, flaky, new age young mothers…"
"…While I'm at work, people behave as though it's an upscale department store and I'm some kind of [stinking] personal shopper or concierge. No! Don't ask me to find something for you when you haven't even looked yourself, I don't care about your stupid grandson going to camp, and when I say, "no, we don't have that, however we do have this," don't just pretend you didn't hear me and make it such a point that you want [the first thing]. We are not Neiman [Stinking] Marcus, so take your Gianfranco Ferre sunglasses and your disgusting lame-and-pastel jogging suit and get out!…"
{maybe a week later…}
"…At work I messed up a bunch of times in ringing people out, so I would re-ring and mess up something else and then they would come back after leaving and it would have to be voided. [This doesn't make sense to me either.] AARGH! So frustrating. Yesterday was not that bad except that about a million little kids with ADD came in and were running around out of control of their bourgie, flaky, new age young mothers…"
17 June 2005
Thus insured against aggressive admiration...
Sometimes I totally feel like doing this:
“She reached Chalk-Newton and breakfasted at an inn, where several young men were troublesomely complimentary to her good looks. […] As soon as she got out of the village, she entered a thicket and took from her basket one of the oldest field-gowns, which she had never put on even at the dairy—never since she had worked among the stubble at Marlott. She also, by a felicitous though, took a handkerchief from her bundle and tied it round her face under her bonnet, covering her chin and half her cheeks and temples, as if she were suffering from toothache. Then with her little scissors, by the aid of a pocket looking-glass, she mercilessly nipped her eyebrows off, and thus insured against aggressive admiration, she went on her uneven way.”
--Thomas Hardy, Tess of the D’Urbervilles
or this:
Sometimes I totally feel like doing this:
“She reached Chalk-Newton and breakfasted at an inn, where several young men were troublesomely complimentary to her good looks. […] As soon as she got out of the village, she entered a thicket and took from her basket one of the oldest field-gowns, which she had never put on even at the dairy—never since she had worked among the stubble at Marlott. She also, by a felicitous though, took a handkerchief from her bundle and tied it round her face under her bonnet, covering her chin and half her cheeks and temples, as if she were suffering from toothache. Then with her little scissors, by the aid of a pocket looking-glass, she mercilessly nipped her eyebrows off, and thus insured against aggressive admiration, she went on her uneven way.”
--Thomas Hardy, Tess of the D’Urbervilles
or this:
